The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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