there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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