i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Farmville is her only friend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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