Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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