babies were throwing up all over the place
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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