Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize