My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize