i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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