only if we run a train.
done.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
