My friends, they love my intelligence
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
