Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
