I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
