Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
