i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
