You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He shit in the fireplace
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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