He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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