you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize