we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
