Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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