i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
