there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
