Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
