never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Terrible idea I love it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
