Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
