If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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