How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
