3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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