I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
