Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
