Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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