i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
