i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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