last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
