dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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