I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
