Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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