Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
