Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize