I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
