Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
