Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
