Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
