I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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