Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
