I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
