can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
