she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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