So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
