Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
