Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize