Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
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