You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize