saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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