Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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