Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
