I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
