I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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