i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How does it feel to date your dad?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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