On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
