is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
