i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
