it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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