distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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