the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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