if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize