She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
