well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
